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themartikaminnaPart One
Super Smash Bros. Melee: Utter Insanity!
Minna- Hey y’all! Sorry I’ve been away for sooooooo long! I didn’t mean to be ; I’ve been so busy with my other fanfic preparations and such, that and I had writer’s block. I also lost the rough draft for Chapter Four... but I remember it enough to make the full chapter out of it.
Anyway, Mr. Mekkai.. please come out and do the disclaimer
Link- Minna doesn’t own anything except the fic and her pet fish named Link.. called Linky.. who died on May 14, 2004.
It was five in the morning. All the smashers were sleeping.. until a meteor of ice crashed into the earth and made the whole planet have an ice age... moving on...
Roy was sleeping peacefully.. his boyfriend Rioroute was sleeping beside him to the left. Anyway, Roy woke up because he was cold. “What in the name of Principility..?” He said as he looked out his window. It was snowing in the summer! Roy looked again, but he was in awe.
He wasn’t the only one who saw it. Minna and Link had been staring at it, their eyes like they were glued to the glass. “I wonder...” Minna said as she pondered. She got up and went downstairs, her brown hair flowing gently behind her. Link followed.
At Five Thirty, the smashers were downstairs watching television when the lights flickered. “I hope the power doesn’t go...” Young Link said.. and as soon as he did, it went out. “...Out.. Damn.” “The toilets aren’t working!” Captain Falcon yelled. Apparently Master Hand ordered Electric Toilets. “Fck.” Link swore. He had to go.. BAD! “Then go. Just don’t flush.” Zelda said, trying to be helpful.
A few minutes later, the smashers were BORED. “Hey guys.” Minna spoke, “Why don’t we play a little game called ‘I Never’?” Everyone agreed. Peach got the water.
“Alright. I’ll go first. I’m not a virgin.” Minna said. Link, Peach, Peach, Roy, Rio, Ganondorf, and Marth took a sip. Link said, “I wrote a yaoi fanfiction that was between me and Dark Link.” Only Minna and Dark Link took a sip.
“I like the color pink.” Peach said and Marth took a sip of water. Zelda- I want to have sex with Link.
Minna, Marth, Peach, Ganondorf, Mario, Luigi, and everyone except Roy and Rio took a sip.
Finally, the only two people with water in their glasses were Link and Minna. “I write insane fanfics.” Minna said, and Link took the last sip of his water. “I win!” Minna said. The power went back on at noon, but it was still cold.
“Everyone return back to your homelands. The tournament is cancelled. See you next year!” Master Hand announced. Everyone packed their things up.
Link, Minna, Zelda, Young Link, Dark Link, and Ganondorf waved good-bye and left to Hyrule.
Samus waved bye to all and left for Brinkster.
Fox and Falco left for Lylat.
Nana, and Popo left for Icicle Mountain.
Mario, Luigi, Peach, Yoshi, Bowser left for Mushroom Kingdom.
Ness left for Onett, Kirby left for Pop Star, Pikachu, Mewtwo and the Pokemon left for Kanto, and Johto.
Captain Falcon left for Mute City and Donkey Kong left to go to Kongo Island.
Marth left for Athea.
Roy left for Lycia.
Rioroute left for G.O.A.
And that my friends, is the end. NOT! WE still need to see what they’re doing This concludes Chapter Four.
You honestly think I’d end the story like that? Never! More insanity shall insue, and they’ll meet again.
Until next time, bye!
Minna: YAY! I'm back! And yes I changed my pen name XD But the fics are still insane... just read this chapter.. its VERY funny. Now, for the disclaimer... we've got Mr. Disclaimer Dude!
Minna: Thank You, MDD.
ONWARD!
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~Somewhere in Hyrule...~
Link and Minna were in each other's arms, asleep (a/n: yes in the same bed...). It was eleven o' clock.. on a wonderful Saturday. Finally, no more tournaments for another year. Thank the Goddesses it was over...
Zelda, was asleep, a pink nightgown with frills on it. Her blonde hair sprawled out over her pillows as she lain on her back. She turned over. "Mmm.. Link.. yeah.. I want... chocolate shizlle fretsz...." Zelda mumbled, obviously having a dream involving Link and.. Chocolate shizlle fretsz... whatever the hell that is. Anyway.. moving on!
Young Link was in the guest room, which was right across the hall from Link and Minna's. Lightly snoring he turned over onto his back. Nothing wrong in Hyrule...
~In Gerudo Valley.. At Ganondorf's Castle~
Ganondorf was downstairs reading the newspaper when Dark Link came downstairs. All of the sudden, Ganondorf let a LOOUD fart out.. it was so powerful that it blew a hole in his pants. "What the fuck was that?" Dark Link asked.
"Someone cut the ritz."
"Who?"
"Well it wasn't me."
"LIAR! I know you let one rip, Ganondorf." Dark Link took one whif and coughed. "What the fuck did you have, a bean burrito?"
"Come to mention it, I did actually have a bean burrito.. make that four." The Gerudo replied.
Nabooru came in at that moment. "Whatever the hell it was, it f*cking smells!" She starts spraying Lysol everywhere. (a/n: Don't own Lysol, either)
Little did they know that the stench killed all living plants.. (and animals...).. and made its way to Hyrule.. into Hyrule Castle and woke everyone up.
"HOLY SHIZZNITS!!!"
The smell woke Link up. In the process, it woke Minna up. She snapped her fingers and the smell was gone. "Did you forget that I'm the authoress? Therefore I can.. blow it away."
So everyone was awake... and bored. Except for Minna and Link.. they were... um.. in the bedroom.. looking at.. STUFF! Yeah.. no.. wait, that made it sound worse.... Lets just say Minna was rocking Link's world.
Young Link and Zelda watched television.
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Minna: So, the Hylians are done.. who should I spy on next? Please review.. and in your review put who you would like me to spy on next!
Laterz!
Link: Atleast until next chapter....
Dark Minna: Minna wrote this while listening to "Just Like You".. so it might be.. strange... that and she's sugar high...
Minna: Link...
Dark Minna: And she needs her Link fix... Anyway, MDD, disclaimer please?
MDD: ... Nope, she don't own SQUAT!!! Except Rochelle Rachel, Roy's sister... because she's Minna's original character!
Minna: DAMN STRAIGHT!!!
ONWARD!!!
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Roy and Marth were sitting on a park bench on the VERY same Saturday that the Hylia and the Gerudo were on.. but this was romantic.
"THROW THE FRIGGIN' FRISBEE!"
Maybe not... You see, Roy and Marth loved each other, and Roy's sister (who is older than him) Rochelle Rachel (who we'll call Rachel), and Marth sister, Ellis (who was Rachel's age.. so that would make her 23.) didn't like the fact.
"Shut up, I'm busy with Marth here, Rach." The red headed swordsman replied, hugging Marth, rather then throwing the frisbee.
A smack came over Roy's head. "Hey!" Rachel said. "PAY ATTENTION! Otherwise, Ellis and I will have to put up with you two's constant smooching noises." "Take that back!"
Marth just stood there, sweatdropping. "Shut up both of you!" Marth said, very impatiently. "Look, why don't you and Ellis go and play OVER THERE," Pointing to an open plain in the middle of park, "And Roy and I alone."
The girls glared at Marth, but complyed. Marth took Roy by the waist and led him behind a tree.
Meanwhile Ellis and Rachel were playing frisbee when they heard strange noises. "HARDER ROY, DAMNNIT!!! I'M GONNA CUM!!" Both girls blinked and turned green. Their brothers were fucking each other. "Great," Ellis said. "Just great. Now they're behind a frigging tree making love to each other and," Screams at the top of her lungs, loud enough for Marth and Roy to hear, "THEY DON'T CARE THAT PEOPLE ARE LOOKING AT THEM FUNNY!" The love noises stopped as they heard rustling behind the bushes.. and trees. Rachel only shook her head. "Have they no pride?" "Nope, none. They wanna do it in public, I'll pretend to not know them. Fair as that."
"Where did I get Roy for a brother anyway?" Rachel asked Ellis. "Simple, same place Marth came from. GAY LAND. I'll just pretend I'm an only child. I do anyway." Rachel nodded her head just when Marth and Roy came out of the bushes.. and trees, blushing crimson. "Roy might be 14.. and Marth might only be 17, but I still think I'm an only child..." Rachel said, breaking the silence. "I do, anyway, because I'm fucking embarressed of YOU, Roy, because you always want to do it when ever HE is around. And when he isn't you complain when you can just walk down the friggin' block to screw him! What were you two doing, sucking on each other's cocks?"
Marth and Roy started laughing. That means yes. "I'll take that as a yes. Royce Remus Pharae, I'm grounding you from seeing Marth for a whole fucking week. I see you with him starting tomorrow, I'll make it longer."
"That goes for you, too, Marth," Ellis said, "Just because you are a prince that doesn't mean you can do that in public places! Now c'mon, were' going home to Mama and Papa." She dragged Marth away, him kicking and screaming profanities.
"C'mon Roy, let's go tell FATHER what happened." Rachel said as she grabbed him by the arm and dragged him home. "You may be the son of Lord Eliwood, but you DEFINATETLY don't ACT like a PRINCE should." "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Roy said, and started cussing at his sister.
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Minna: Yes, very strange, I know. Now you know why I up-ed the rating? Because the language.. and sexually intense situationative dialouge.
Dark Minna: Thanks for reading! Until next time!
Link: You mean next chapter...
Dark Link: WHATEVER! Anyway, review. Remember. If Minna recieves ONE flame, I'll PERSONALLY GO AFTER YOU AND RIP YOU LIMB FROM LIMB! Other then that, please leave feedback ^_^;;
REVIEW!
PLEASE?
Okay I'll let you go, now...
Please click the purple button ^_^ Tankies! Anyway, Until next chapter!
Originally written September 5th, 2004
Chapter Seven of UTTER INSANITY!
YAY! An update! Yes I know all my stories are supposedly on a "hiatus" but that's not until the 9th. Then I have school. Now my reason for not updating this: I have been busy with my fanfiction "What You Are" and "Super Smash Brothers Melee.. High?" and totally forgot about my baby! (hugs).
Oh yeah, the LEGEND!
(bah bah) is actions.
[BLAH BLAH BLAH] is me (Minna)
{Whatever} is Dark Minna.
'Blah Blah' is thoughts.
"Blash Blash Blash" is speaking.
Just to clear that up! Oh Aaron!
Mr. Disclaimer Dude: Finally! Minna doesn't own anything. Except me and herself.. and Dark Minna. And Silver Angel. And Lily Sparrow.
Actually Lin owns Lily.
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Chapter Seven: Mushroom Kingdom!
It was a beautiful day. Birds were chirping, and people were waking. "Mmm.. (stretches. What a wonderful day. Wonder how the others are doing..." The Princess, Peach, said as she got up from her bed. Slipping into her pink robe and mushroom shaped slippers, she went about her morning business.
"MAMA-MIA!" the Italian plumber named Mario said as he rushed around his house, wondering about something missing. "Where-a is it-a?" he said, looking under the chair. His brother, Luigi, walked in, holding a red cap with a "M" on it. "Where-a was it-a, Luigi?" Mario asked, taking his beloved hat and placed it on his head. ".. Apparently you-a left it-a in the-a bathroom," he replied, crossing his arms. "And-a I also saw-a this-a," he pulled out a picture of some girl with Black hair, Dark Brown eyes wearing what seemed to be Pirates clothes. ".. So? She's.. an.. aquaintance of-a mine-a."
All of the sudden there was a knock on the door. Luigi went to get it, only to find the aforementioned girl. "Who-a are you-a?" the younger Mario brother asked the tall brown headed girl. "The name be Lily. Lily Sparrow. I'm lookin' for a friend of mine," Lily said, a rough British accent was apparent, and Luigi had problems understanding her. "Would that-a be Mario?" "Mario? Who be this Mario person? Its a she, and she parades around dressed like her sister."
Luigi looked at Mario who shrugged. "What would-a her name-a be?"
"Minna."
MEANWHILE IN HYRULE [.. So? I was mentioned XD]
"Hmm... wonder were Lily is," the brown headed girl said, sitting on a bench, admiring the sunrise. ".. My you're up early." Minna turned around to see her boyfriend, Link, standing outside the castle. "Any reason?" He said, sitting down next to her. ".. Lily was supposed to be here, but apparently she must've gotten lost."
MEANWHILE IN A TIME PORTAL SOMEWHERE.
The Mario Brothers were a lot of help. Now she could go to RIGHT town, this time. "Funny, but I don't remember taking this way. (shrugs) Whatever. I don't think it really matters." She stepped into a blue light and found herself in a LARGE field. "What the..?" Skeleton-like creatures popped out from the ground. She got out her sword and got into a fighter's stance. "You shouldn't be messin' with me. Do you know what I could do to you?" she swiped at them, destroying them.. until more popped out! ".. This isn't going to be easy," she said, slicing more up.
In Hyrule...
Minna got worried, so she got on Jinaria [My horse, Hylian for Mystery] and rode off. That's when she saw the stalfos. ".. Stupid Stalchildren. Hiya." She dug the heel of her boots into the horse's side, having them take off at break neck speed.
Lily was still fighting off the Stalchildren. "Grr.. DAMNED TO THE DEPTHS ARE YOU FOR MESSIN' WITH CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW'S DAUGHTER! [.. Um.. Yeah.. She's in my up coming P.o.t.C fic.. don't own that, either.. and no this isn't a cross over.. -_-]" She said, swinging her sword until a white horse trampled them all. "What took you? I was up at an ungoddessly hour only to find you playing with Stalchildren!" Minna said, dismounting her horse. ".. Where were you, anyway?"
"Well, I ended up in some place called "Mushroom Kingdom" and some guy named Luigi helped me find my way to Hyrule. But then those guys popped outta the ground," Lily explained, pointing to the ground with her sword.
"By the way, I heard you yelling about Jack -_-. You need to keep it down." She took Lily's hand and helped her onto the horse. She herself got on and away they went.
Back in Mushroom Kingdom..
"That girl-a was strange-a," Luigi said, sitting down, remote in hand. He turned on the news to see this report:
"Everyone be on the look out for a girl wearing pirate's clothes. Her name is Lily Sparrow and is a fugitive and apprentice of Jack Sparrow [CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow. Sorry, had to do that ^^;;]. If you see her, please call 1-800-hottips, that number again is 1-800-HOT-TIPS."
Luigi stared in horror at the screen. He had helped that girl escape to Hyrule! He had to warn Zelda, Link, and Minna that a criminal was on the loose! But how? He contemplated on this for a while.
Hyrule, again.
"Thanks for takin' me in. Them police.. or whatever are after me behind," Lily said, sitting down in the recreation room part of the castle. "No prob. In Hyrule, you don't have to worry." "Why's that?" Minna smiled. "Because I'm the ruler of this land, and you don't have to worry. I can just tell them that you're under my rules, and Hylian law binds you. Outsider Police from other lands can't do anything because the laws are different." Lily smiled back. "Good to know. But, could you tell me what exactly those "Hylian Laws" are?" So Minna gave her a LONG roll of parchment written in English. "I always have other languages available.. else you'd have to learn how to read Hylian, and that takes years." They laughed together.
"Well, I'm glad Min has a friend outside the Melee group," her sister, Zelda, said, hiding around the corner, Link behind her. "Yeah. But do you think she'll be happy in the castle? Minna spent most of her time in Kokiri Forest," Link replied, matter of factly. [You wouldn't understand because you haven't read "Origins: The Origin of the Heroine of Time" yet. But Minna ran away and lived in the Kokiri Forest. That's how she knew Link so long.] "I know."
"HEY ANIKI! There's someone I want you to meet!" Minna said, smiling.
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So.. did you like it? Cliffhanger-y ending, I know, but whatever. That was kinda a Mushroom Kingdom/Hyrule Chapter.. but its my story and I can do whatever I want. So, press the "Gray" button that looks strangely like lavender.. or purple.. and REVIEW. Pwease? I'll give you.. a COOKIE. Otherwise if you don't review I'll use this: (gets the Millenium Rod out) and I'll make you review! So unless you want to review of your OWN will and not MINE, REVIEW.
