[From the Archives] Super Smash Brothers Melee: Utter Insanity Author's Note, 1-7 Part One

[themartikaminna]

Background: This was my first Melee fanfic ever. Of course, like all the Melee fanfics around November of 2003, it was "written on a sugar high" with random crap happening in every single chapter. No one was in character, there was a self-insert, and all hell broke loose. Of course, being eleven at the time, I thought it was OMG AWESOME. Looking back on it now? I think it sucks, go figure. But my eleven year old self was proud of it at the time, so we have to give 11-year-old!me props, right?

Chapters one through six were published on FFN, chapter one being posted on November 26th, 2003, chapter six being posted on July 9th, 2004. I was in the process of making chapter seven when--GASP!--I needed Sain (neé Blocky) to be formatted for the first time ever. Luckily, I made backups, which is why I'm posting this entry. Of course, before I posted chapter seven and my hard drive was wiped, FFN took the story off the Internet, wiping chapters five and six off of the Internet for good.

Until now.

So think of Chapter Seven as like, an added bonus. NEVER BEFORE SEEN FEATURES. Or something.

So without further interruption, I present Super Smash Brothers Melee: Utter Insanity!
R.I.P. 11-26-03 - 9-03-04

Note: Everything was left as is, meaning any grammatical and/or typographical errors were left alone.

Originally posted at http://www.freewebs.com/saturnchi
A Note from the Authoress for the Story "SSBM: Utter Insanity"

This story IS my pride and joy. The first fanfiction I had ever written (Not counting my old G Gundam and Sailor Moon fanfics *cough*), this so far has eleven reviews.. each helping me improve. This story was originally posted at Fanfiction.net.. and still is.

FAQ:
Q: Why is the rating PG-13?
A: Because. There's A LOT of swearing.. although the "f word" and anything beyong this rating are censored.. or not shown ALL TOGETHER. Sure I could just boost the rating.. but I know a lot of small kids (8-11) who read them. And I don't want them to be too vulgar.

Q: YOU MADE GANONDORF KISS LINK!! DIE!!
A:... It was a request from a reader. Yes I take requests for dares, truths, and even character submissions. Just review by emailing me at darklinklova@netscape.net.
Trust me. There's gonna be a lot of "So-and-So kissing Link" going around in later chapters ^_~

Q: WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BE WITH LINK?!?! WHY NOT ME?
A:... Because I am an authoress. And authoress' have powers to do this *waves hand and Captain Falcon blows up*. We can do whatever we want with the characters we don't own..

Any flames.. and this is what shall happen *snaps fingers and three fairies appear*
Navi- HEY! LOOK! LISTEN!
Tatl- *rings bell 4,000,000,000,000+ times* LISTEN!
Izangai (My annoying pet fairy)- C'MON! YOU GOTSA LISTEN!! OTHERWISE I'LL KEEP STATING THE OBVIOUS!

Or this *snaps fingers twice and Mario and Peach melt* Or even this *Has Ganondorf and Link make out*.. And LAST but NOT least. This. *waves hand and Mr. Game and Watch blows up*.

Enjoy ^_^

Super Smash Bros. Melee: Utter insanity and Randomness!

Cryx: Hiya ^_^ I'm Cryx [Read about her in my bio]

Minna: and I'm the authoress ^_^

Minna: First off, the disclaimer. hm.. Link. do the disclaimer ^_^

Link: .. Why?

Minna: Cuase I said so ^_^

Link: Fine. Minna doesn't own SSBM, Cryx, Julianna, or anything except herself, this fic, and um.. her pet Raccoon named.. LINK?!

Minna: Hush you! On with the fic!
 ^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^^_^_^_^_^
It was a quiet day at Melee Mansion as Roy, Marth, Link, Mewtwo, and the rest of the crew were in the living room watching t.v.

Roy: This is boring.. *yawn*

Marth: There's nothing on!

All of the sudden, Ganondorf farted.

Roy, Marth, Link, Y. Link, Zelda, and basically everyone except Ganondorf: *laughing*

Y.Link: Um.. guys? I think I just wet myself.

Everyone except Ganondorf and Y. L: **Move over**

Minna: **comes into the room** I've got an idea! Why don't we play a few games. such as. TRUTH OR DARE.

All SSBM characters: O_O Noooooo..

Link: Not this time..

Roy: He..lp.. T_T

Minna: Quit whining!!!
^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^
Minna: I know that sucked, but hey, its only the first chappie ^_^ Also, I need ideas for the questions for truth or dare, so review with some ideas ^_^

























































































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Please?



























































Link: Let 'em go.. so they can review, damnnit.

Fine..

Super Smash Brothers: Melee: Utter Insanity

        Chapter TWO

Author's Note: Heh, sorry about the long delay! I had writer's block. and now I know what to write ^_^

~*~ Chapter Two: I have to do what?!?

Everyone is sitting in a circle, with a look of nervousness on their faces. Minna broke the silence. "Okay, Ganondorf, Truth or Dare?" Minna said, a smile on her face, an evil smile might I add. Anyway.

"Dare!" The Gerudo King yelled, obviously nervous because of Minna's smile. "I dare you, Ganondorf, King of all Evil, to-" Makes a face of dicust, not wanting her crush to go through with this, continued, "Kiss Link. FRENCH!"

Link, Ganondorf, and Zelda's faces were shocked. Zelda's with revenge, Ganondorf and Link's Faces were dicusted, as well as Minna's. "I am NOT French kissing him!" They said in unison, looking at Minna. "I don't want you to, but one of my great fans (a/n: yes, I DO have fans, mind you!) whose name is Abnormal-Girl (a/n: LOVE YA! Thanks for the great idea! *huggles*) , wanted it to happen, so just DO IT ALREADY!" Minna said, shooting both of them a glistening look.

"I am NOT going to like this." Link says as Ganondorf leans in to kiss him. Ganondorf's lips touch Link's and Ganondorf's tongue goes in, and he breaks it, running to the bathroom to wash his mouth out with Mouthwash.

Link's face looks like this: O_O

"That. was. DISCUSTING!!!" Link shouted, and was washing his mouth out with SOAP. "Well, its your turn, so you can have some revenge on me." Minna said.

"Minna, Truth or Dare?" Link asked, planning something in his head. "Uh.. TRUTH!"

"Is it true that you slept with Young Link last night?" Link asked, leaning over to her. "HELL NO!"

"Anyways, since I already went, Young Link'll pick ^_^;;;" Minna said, nervous.

Young Link had a smile, and looked towards Zelda. "Zellie," Young Link started, "I DARE you, to STRIP in front of US ALL!"

Zelda was taken aback and gasped. "WHAT? What're the consequences if I don't do it?" Zelda asked. "You have to make out with Roy.. OR pole- dancing, naked!" Young Link replied. The Little Pervert! "Uh. I'll take making out with. Can I choose?" "The choices are: Ganondorf, Minna, Link, Roy. Marth, Mario, etc." Zelda thinks for a minute and comes to her decision. "I'll make out with Roy." Zelda says and pounces on the red head, and takes him into a random closet that appeared outta nowhere.

*~*A Few hours later~*~ Zelda and Roy come outta the closet. "Link, is it true that you look at girls' chests?" Zelda asked and Link just stared. "Um.. Well. the only person's chest I stare at is.."

~*~ WHOSE CHEST DOES LINK REALLY LOOK AT? FIND OUT IN CHAPTER THREE: LINK'S GONNA GET RUNOVER BY ZELDA!

Author's Note: I feel so guilty for leaving you on a cliffhanger, but I must.

Please review whose chest you would like Link to have looked at. Here're the choices: Me, Zelda, Peach's

REVIEW . . . . . . . .

. . . . . . Link: Let them. review.. F*CK THE DAMN STORY!! You made me kiss Ganondorf. wait.. vise-versa! I can't believe someone actually liked your story!

Roy: For Minna and Link's sakes, please review!

Chapter Three: Link's Gonna Get Run Over by Zelda!

Minna: Well did ya like that?

D. Minna (Dark Minna): Obviously. if a lot people reviewed for a chapter three, then they must've liked it!

Minna: I'd like to say a thank you to:

S.Fox8- Thank You for the wonderful review! I will have him look at MY (Minna) chest ^_^ Here's the third chappie, at your very nice request ^_^

DarkHunter65 and Fluffy- Again, thank you for the very lovely review ^_^ I really appreciate it ^_^

D. Minna: I see a flame in here. *points*

Minna: To "None of your F*cking business"- I DON'T suck! I'd like to see you write a fanfic.. oh wait, your too stupid to figure it out!

As you can tell, I'm pissed off now, because of that flame, when I specifically said I don't RECEIVE FLAMES!!! Its in the summary!

Anyways, Disclaimer shall be, my good buddy, Yami Yuugi's Gal!

Yami Yuugi's Gal: Minna doesn't own SSBM, Me, or anything else that might appear (including a few reviewers!) or myself!

^*^*^*^*^

"Minna's." Link said and gulped. Zelda stared at him, her eyes with fire in them. Link and Minna were both blushing beet red, embarrassed. "Wow! I never knew that!' Roy said, and laughed. "Alright then, ROY, I dare you to kiss Marth on the lips, french, for 10 minutes!" Link shouted, getting his revenge.

Roy stopped laughing. Marth started inching away from Roy as Roy looked at Link. "WHAT?!?! NOOOOOOO! What's the consequences?"

"Having to be locked in a closet with Navi for Five Hours.. STRAIGHT, without a SWORD!!" Young Link shouted, when Link was about to say that.

"I'll take the being locked in a closet with Navi for five hours without my sword, thanks very much." Roy said, and went into the closet, with a jar of a blue light. After ten minutes, you could hear Roy's screams of insanity.

Suddenly, a Girl with dirt blonde hair, blue eyes and earrings that have the mellenium symbol on it appears as if from nowhere. "Its. Another one of Minna's insane friends." The Melee characters said, bored.

"Who the hell are you?" Mario said, being cautious. DUH! "I happen to be Yami Yuugi's Wife, Amanda, but just call me YYG." YYG said, a smile on her face.

YYG sits down, in the circle, and eyes someone in the corner. Everyone else, except Minna, look there and see a mysterious person with red eyes in the corner of the room. "What the F(^% is that?" Fox shouted, pointing at the MPWREITCOTR. "Oh, that's just-" Thunder and lightening, "Some hunky person, but not as hot as Link, whose also from Zelda, and is the Mini Boss of the Water Temple ^_^" Minna said, cutting Whoever was speaking off. "But, I think those who have been fortunate to have played OoT should know that that's Dark Link ^_^" Minna says and hugs him.

"GET OFF ME!! FOOLISH MORTAL!"

"Well EXXXXXXCCUUUUUUUUUUSE ME! But I'm just glad that I'm not the son of that freak Ganonfart. I mean, Ganondork,,, no wait.. Ganondorf ^_^"

Everyone sweatdropped.

^*^*^*^*^

I hate to end it there. but I just ran outta ideas ^^;;; so please review with some ^_^ Thanks!

REVIEW

PRETTY PLEASE?

Link: LET 'EM GO!!!! Oh! And please review ^_^